| ok.
so for therapeutic purposes i decided to write in this little diary.
so. i am not extremely happy right now. i am on the borderline of all these stupid decisions....that i am not ready to make. well basically one decision that brings a huge compromise and alot of anger. moving.
i want to move out. like. to the point of being prepared to spend 1000$ per month to make it happen. but. my decisions are stunted. by the stupid reality of a possible academic future...and...a boyfriend that lives in a place that my entire being cannot warm up too.
as much as i have gay emo love toward my boyfriend. and this i have in ample quantity... i also have a substantial amount of contempt for his surroundings and his life. and. i dont think that his life, or his surroundings are going to change...and i am not sure that i can fit into those surroundings. so i am just going to lay in bed and have a massive emotional fit about the same thing that i was having a massive emotional fit about a couple of months ago. i would love to have progress. progress would be amazing.
bah. what do i do? can someone please just tell me. | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | ok. he didnt get the hint. he is still persisting. basically, he phones. he wants to take me to dinner. i am a chicken shit. and make up an excuse. his msn name goes from jon to. still fucking miserable. qu'elle fuckerage. this is so dumb. seriously. i smoke weed everyday. fuck. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | THE CBC. | | Current Location: | my bed. | | Security: | | | Time: | 08:17 am |
|
| guys.
i met lambert.
life has meaning again. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | chancellor. gord downie. | | Security: | | | Subject: | hmmmm. | | Time: | 12:04 am | | Current Mood: |  creative |
|
| i am feeling a bit of calm.
news to the ordinary:
i think im happy.
i love montreal. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY.
FUCK.
i miss vancouver so much right now.
fuck.
i am never going to ottawa ever fucking again. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| ok guys. romance sucks. FURTHERMORE, i am of the opinion that if the YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS did your breed of romance then you suck. sorry.
last weekend..there were candles, music (a lame ass playlist)..and an offer to dance in the kitchen. i opted for a joint. bah. ok. maybe there is something wrong with me. but it just seemed so lame and contrived. last night i witnessed more of this romance...it just seems so boring. i feel like its the decay of society. if you have time to blog. to shop. to have bowel movements. you have time to think. to creatively destruct. and if you care, you will creatively destruct. if you arent creatively destructing then you are social decay..and your bottom line is ass and dependence. whatevs. perhaps im being a bitch. i dont care. i hate society. ennui people. ENNUI. i, personally, made nocchi. that was obviously destruction..in some capacity.
why does everything have to be normal. bah.
the best date of my life included: a knole. a couple of joints. cheesecake (i think). candy. lots. the art gallery and crepes.
my next best date will involve: technology, champagne and cake.
i leave you with a picture of hot:
 | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| advice to the ordinary:
if you find a boy in a place of cinema reception can you attract him by:
spreading butter all over you face...and saying " hey baby, lets tango."
and like..my butter will be made of olive oil..cuz im all class?
thoughts?
ainge says i need to spread the butter all over my anus. total grossation. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Security: | | | Subject: | ok. | | Time: | 01:46 am |
|
| i feel ok.
i love montreal.
i hate ottawa.
fuck you ottawa.
pretty much.
ps: that was a poem. please feel free to publish its contents. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
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conserv_la_tric's journal
angry